tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post6682020305015998561..comments2024-03-24T12:47:49.253-04:00Comments on Dou-la-la: Fathers and partners and doulas, oh my!Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01019907275666753543noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-30974462537740781462009-12-31T11:26:18.441-05:002009-12-31T11:26:18.441-05:00There are many reasons to get a doula, but one thi...There are many reasons to get a doula, but one thing the husband should always keep in mind is that labor is LONG - esp with first babies. Mine was 30 hours. We had a doula, but my DH didn't leave my side until he was so weak and exhausted he almost passed out. Let's say your DH might want to, I don't know, go to the bathroom? Have a snack? Sleep for an hour or two? Having a doula there provides continuity of care and peace of mind when the DH needs a *break*.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-46123604459453829402009-12-28T23:09:22.714-05:002009-12-28T23:09:22.714-05:00Thank you all so much for your perspectives!Thank you all so much for your perspectives!Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01019907275666753543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-84411879304216073162009-12-28T21:28:09.097-05:002009-12-28T21:28:09.097-05:00AGREE AGREE!!! We are getting a doula, mainly bec...AGREE AGREE!!! We are getting a doula, mainly because I don't want to be suckered into a c-section by dr's who don't wanna wait around for a twin birth...Baby Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11965465738266526367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-15140569244276816592009-12-28T19:19:48.799-05:002009-12-28T19:19:48.799-05:00I don't know what sort of insurance the asker ...I don't know what sort of insurance the asker has, but if having a doula reduces the need for so many interventions by such large percentages, she is going to SAVE a bundle of money on that alone. I have PPO which means I pay 10% of whatever the bill is. Sooo... 10% of a natural labor or 10% of a "typical" labor --- it's an easy decision.<br />Not only that, the recovery from a natural labor is generally easier - and recovery from major medical intervention is costly in and of itself. <br />I explained to my husband (who had the same concerns) that it was natural and innate for women to want a woman to share in her labor. It's been going on for millions of years, and it doesn't make fathers any less important. I *want* someone there who's not going to get overly emotional<br />And yeah, I want my hubs to be able to pee, and get me food, to REST!, and to run home to get the iPod charger if we forget it. Bonus: if you just can't bear the thought of your hubs leaving to go to the cafeteria, a doula will be glad to go grab food for the both of you.<br />I don't know, I just think the more support I have, the better off I'll be.<br />My hubs is the most supportive, fabulous guy in the world, but it doesn't hurt to add all the support you can get.<br />My doulas were kind enough to explain this to my husband when we interviewed them, and he left with a deeper understanding of the role.<br />If men could get pregnant, I wouldn't expect him to go through childbirth without something he desired - so in the end, he respects my wishes/desires too and just has a "Yes, Dear" attitude. <br />It's important to me, so it's important to him that I have it.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15840370708098022422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-70269926179738824452009-12-28T16:40:31.067-05:002009-12-28T16:40:31.067-05:00Abso-fruita-lutely! My doula was worth her weight ...Abso-fruita-lutely! My doula was worth her weight in gold and then some...I don't think I could have made it through labor without her! Dads always seem to approach this as the doula trying to steal their thunder...when in reality they want to HELP the dad! Having someone who knows about birth but is totally unemotionally attached to the outcome can be a godsend. She can keep a cool head and guide both mom and dad through the process, leaving them free to revel in all the emotions without worrying about what needs to be done.Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17475112158639748154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-849743581186048542009-12-28T13:39:22.380-05:002009-12-28T13:39:22.380-05:00Thank you SO much for posting this. I am experienc...Thank you SO much for posting this. I am experiencing this very issue right now, although I do plan to pursue a natural child birth. I really appreciate all input for getting a doula!Alannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10466669277555217645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-68586000023409560092009-12-28T12:20:39.481-05:002009-12-28T12:20:39.481-05:00What a great post- and what a great shower gift id...What a great post- and what a great shower gift idea! <br />Having a doula was essential for me at the hospital. And even though my husband wasn't really into it, in the end, it really did allow him to be there as himself, instead of in some predefined role. <br />Everyone was more relaxed because she was there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-32512924370780571162009-12-28T12:04:18.066-05:002009-12-28T12:04:18.066-05:00I feel so blessed, the more I talk to my husband a...I feel so blessed, the more I talk to my husband about this sort of thing... he was pro-doula even before I was. He wants to be there, and involved, and remain as my partner by my side; at the same time, he doesn't know anything about birth or labor and, not being a woman, he will never be in a position to relate to those issues. Birth is one of those times when we women really need another woman, an experienced one to walk us through the transition.<br /><br />I can see why a guy would feel rejected by his woman insisting on a doula, but really, would he build a house or rewire the electricity without a more experienced fellow-man there to walk him through it? (Bad analogy, I know, but hopefully you get my meaning.)Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409938861228257317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-2017046814205525692009-12-28T11:44:24.867-05:002009-12-28T11:44:24.867-05:00Great post!!! Thanks for putting it all out there ...Great post!!! Thanks for putting it all out there and answering my dilemmas one by one!! Very helpful!!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07811425490917437870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-88076634462754957462009-12-28T01:28:04.534-05:002009-12-28T01:28:04.534-05:00Great post! I told my husband tonight that next b...Great post! I told my husband tonight that next birth we are TOTALLY getting a doula and luckily he said ok (hope he is as willing when I'm actually pregnant). <br /><br />I am so excited for your post about doulas with c-sections!!! I will show it to my husband too. We were just talking about what things I want to change for my c-section next time around tonight, b/c I want to make an appt. with the high-risk OB here soonish to discuss the hospital's policies before we TTC.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com