tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post2551687683027807122..comments2024-03-24T12:47:49.253-04:00Comments on Dou-la-la: Once More With Feeling: Contemplating BBACAnnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01019907275666753543noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-39233313065216695142011-06-28T10:42:21.737-04:002011-06-28T10:42:21.737-04:00Amazing story! Thank you for sharing! I hope I can...Amazing story! Thank you for sharing! I hope I can be as strong as you were in this story.7wekenzwangerhttp://7wekenzwanger.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-75816307528909698062011-06-17T10:44:01.141-04:002011-06-17T10:44:01.141-04:00"It's truly amazing how much knowledge an..."It's truly amazing how much knowledge and support we have at our fingertips online now. Even just 4 years ago when I was doing breastfeeding research online or in the early days when I had issues and hit Google, there was NOTHING like what we've built now."<br /><br />It is so, so true! And thanks - I'm biased, of course, but I do agree!<br /><br />Really appreciate your story, Anon! So glad you experienced a "full circle".Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01019907275666753543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-34852153606440063672011-06-17T10:38:02.050-04:002011-06-17T10:38:02.050-04:00Anne,
Just wanted to let you know there is hope! ...Anne, <br />Just wanted to let you know there is hope! I had a VBAC with my second and a successful BBAC. My first DD was tongue-tied but I never knew it. I went to many, many, many people even IBCLCs trying to get an answer, but it never happened. Finally after 6 months of dealing with nipple shields and no comfort nursing and steroid ointment my DD started nursing normally. I think she must have stretched her frenulum out. I never knew what was wrong UNTIL,<br />My second, a boy was born VBAC and he had the same problem! I was so devastated. I too longed for a normal nursing experience, and was shattered. After my husband helped me pick up the pieces I went to the hospital where he was born for a meeting with their breastfeeding team. Well that's when I got the care I should have gotten with my first baby!!! They immediately identified tongue-tie and a few (painful) weeks later we had a local midwife take care of it. I IMMEDIATELY saw improvement, but it took a couple of weeks for me to be completely pain free and able to nurse lying down without pain. <br /><br />It can be done! We have a wonderful, very free (i.e. we nurse all the time without blinking an eye) relationship and he is now 2 years old. We have had bumps (thrush and mastitis) but nothing worthwhile comes without challenges. <br /><br />I encourage you- and I wanted to let you know that sometimes it takes another shot to heal from the first time. I couldn't even think of having a child for almost 4 years after the traumatic birth of my daughter whose c-section caused extensive damage to my uterus. But with the birth of my second I got the answer to what happened with the nursing of my first. I believe I got to come full-circle, and I think you will too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-44366789727519349832011-06-14T16:21:15.545-04:002011-06-14T16:21:15.545-04:00It's truly amazing how much knowledge and supp...It's truly amazing how much knowledge and support we have at our fingertips online now. Even just 4 years ago when I was doing breastfeeding research online or in the early days when I had issues and hit Google, there was NOTHING like what we've built now. From all of the support groups online to Twitter to the most brilliant minds in breastfeeding being accessible to everyone on Facebook, it's almost unbelievable how much support there is. So even though I didn't have nearly as tough a time as you did, I am too reassured by all of the support that is available now. Also? Lily is such a beautiful baby!Elitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01294923997458681675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-29565855829810409422011-06-14T01:11:28.745-04:002011-06-14T01:11:28.745-04:00Wow, Anne, thanks so much for sharing. I really ad...Wow, Anne, thanks so much for sharing. I really admire your strength and perseverance. I also read Lily's struggle and wish I could hug you now! As others have said, I think it's highly likely that second time around will be much easier for you. You should be proud of yourself for working so hard. Most women, even the most dedicated, would have probably given up on trying to breastfeed given the same circumstances as you.Takishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15742034909302294242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-1857533591015823742011-06-14T01:09:14.283-04:002011-06-14T01:09:14.283-04:00Thank ALL y'all so much for sharing parts of y...Thank ALL y'all so much for sharing parts of your own experiences. It's heartening to know that the BBAC idea clicked with others, too. <br /><br />Tanya, "milk, sweat and tears" is QUITE the apt way of putting it, yes. And it's reassuring to hear you say the odds of it being THAT insane again are slim. That's my hope, and rationally I can see why that level of crazy is unlikely - but sometimes, late at night . . .Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01019907275666753543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-54892418315928919342011-06-13T19:45:20.239-04:002011-06-13T19:45:20.239-04:00Love the term, too! As a VBAC mom and LC it gives...Love the term, too! As a VBAC mom and LC it gives me more empathy for moms who have had a traumatic experience the first time around. <br /><br />I read your story and am amazed that you made it work despite so many obstacles. Without implying any disrespect to moms who don't make as big of an effort, I'm so impressed by how much (milk, sweat, tears?) you put into it. I'm not surprised that the thought of embarking on that journey again is really daunting.<br /><br />I have to think that the chances that it will be that hard are pretty slim. There were so many factors working against you, and it just doesn't seem likely that it could happen the same way again. <br /><br />So, thanks for the post and the story. I'm a better LC for having read them!tanya@motherwearbloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09484586523103045315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-67535894226002425532011-06-13T19:15:17.390-04:002011-06-13T19:15:17.390-04:00I had a lot of breastfeeding challenges with my fi...I had a lot of breastfeeding challenges with my first baby, too. Once we finally got things going, he was such a boobaholic that I was able to get over some of my fears. Then my second pregnancy ended in a stillbirth and my first son was there to happily help me with engorgement issues. Pregnancies since have been healthy but there's always a shadow of fear for me. I think if I didn't have that fear, I would be worried about breastfeeding issues (I would find something to worry over)<br /><br />I hope I get the chance to do it one more time, but it may not be in the cards as my husband says he wants to be done. I, like you and many of the other commenters, wrestle with the what-ifs.Zoie @ TouchstoneZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688056216105729821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-65295622760932989342011-06-13T19:05:32.327-04:002011-06-13T19:05:32.327-04:00Oh, I so remember the resentment of mothers who ha...Oh, I so remember the resentment of mothers who had an easy time with breastfeeding, never mind mothers who had natural births (I had two unplanned c-sections, myself). I think it's often exacerbated by folks who (often without meaning to) imply or just believe that if it's difficult or you need medical intervention, you must have done something wrong. It's hard not to blame yourself when others do the same.<br /><br />And btw, although I never did get my VBAC, I did have a pretty blissful BBAC experience....so it can be done!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-31861194463522257432011-06-10T20:37:55.474-04:002011-06-10T20:37:55.474-04:00i am a vbac mom, and a BBAC,love the term! with tw...i am a vbac mom, and a BBAC,love the term! with twins this time. unfortunatly, as much as I TRULY thought things would be different this time around, I find myself witht he tongue tie and low supply issues I did, unbeknownst at the time, with my previous children. I would have a c-section 10 time to finally have a NORMAL breastfeeding experience.I haven't even been able to enjoy my VBAC! So, I find myself chained to the pump AGAIN, trying to get throught ONE more month, hoping things will turn around. it is exhausting. The sad thing is, these are definitly my last children, and I really thought it would be differnet this time. I have no chance to FINALLY get this right, and I am so sad about it. thanks for your blog/posts<br />annetteAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-1713241195495111462011-06-10T14:34:45.527-04:002011-06-10T14:34:45.527-04:00Oh Anne! This why I love you so much! This is exa...Oh Anne! This why I love you so much! This is exactly how I feel. You took the words out of my heart. As a doula and childbirth educator who has worked with VBAC extensively, I kept thinking to myself how much I resonated with those moms. It really is the same feeling. The Trauma. The desire for a Do-Over, but the Fear that gets in the way. I myself and still stuck in the thick of the Fear. I am at point right now, that I can't bare to do this all over again. Just can't do it. <br />BBAC. I am all over it.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05889839060285842444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-57709347326427390662011-06-08T08:44:45.230-04:002011-06-08T08:44:45.230-04:00Yes! I did have a chance to have another baby and ...Yes! I did have a chance to have another baby and breastfeeding normally. My first was a picture perfect nurser. My second had a host of health issues and by the time we treated them - at 7 months - my milk supply had dropped so severely that I didn't seem to be able to get it back. After a few months he was only taking solid food and the bottle, no more nursing. I was bummed b/c I had hoped it would go the other way - more nursing, fewer bottles - I didn't care how much table food he ate, b/c he was eating, which was the most important thing for a baby who weighed 9lb at 5 months but I had been really hoping to give him more healthy fat from my milk. His younger brother - third baby - nursed very nicely. I was working full time from home, mother of three, and tired. When my milk supply dropped around 3 months (as it did with each baby), I did everything I knew and more to get it back (even that D-prescription from that doc in Toronto...ahem, which worked so well!) I was so happy that he was healthy enough that we could nurse easily from the start. I was also proud I had learned from my own experience how much I valued breastfeeding, maybe even more than I knew I did before I had such a hard time with my second. I had plenty of support and was grateful to be able to nurse him til he weaned himself around 16 months.Karen Baynehttp://www.gentlebalancebirthnorthampton.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-41373013355857462472011-06-07T22:58:29.692-04:002011-06-07T22:58:29.692-04:00I went through an uphill battle to nurse my second...I went through an uphill battle to nurse my second child. It took us months of pumping and nipple shields and supplementing before things got to be "normal". I cried when I saw other women peacefully nursing in public because I couldn't do that too. If he had been my first child I really don't know if I would have made it, but I had successfully nursed one child for 18 months and I was bound and determined to do it again. Baby #3 is on her way and I find myself thinking, "It just can't be that awful again. It just can't!." I am armed with even more information this time around and I am ready to do what needs to be done, though every fiber of me hopes it can just be easy this time.<br /><br />Sending you lots of healing vibes, and as well as the strength to know you can do it all again when you are ready.Kathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-63998004577927164042011-06-07T19:48:28.295-04:002011-06-07T19:48:28.295-04:00Great acronym, Anne! I think that the correlation ...Great acronym, Anne! I think that the correlation to VBAC makes a lot of sense--I think it can be very difficult to be viewed as an "experienced mom", which you are, of course, while still having to deal with all the feelings on "never having done this before". Fear of failure, as well as having only the other experience to reference (a cesarean birth or a difficult, unsatisfying or complex feeding experience) can be so daunting. OTOH, the drive to succeed can also channel a mother-wisdom and power like nothing else. I am thinking that will be you, my darling!Jennifer Towhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07978261965638820452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-4520049576647645782011-06-07T16:42:28.794-04:002011-06-07T16:42:28.794-04:00*hugs* My second was my difficult baby. Not the sa...*hugs* My second was my difficult baby. Not the same issues (I can't pump efficiently, so it was breast or nothing!), but I had the gamut: screaming, arching baby refusing to latch, crying at the sight of the breast, sleepy baby who couldn't wake up, bad latch, weak, ineffective suck, colic, PPD... all with a baby I couldn't bond with due to our traumatic labor experience leading to an epidural.<br /><br />If it weren't for all the mothers before me who I helped get through one of that list at a time, my own stubbornness and belief in my body to do it and the experience I had with my first... also, the LC who helped me train my baby's suck so it wasn't so weak... there's no chance I would have had a successful nursing relationship. I've seen maybe one or two moms overcome the combined difficulties I did in the 4 years I've been helping them.<br /><br />But I did it--all while tandem nursing O_O and dealing with a 2 year old and a newborn--completely alone over 11 hours a day (I can't drive and was too depressed to call for help from anyone) starting 3 days postpartum. It was quite the experience. If anything, I feel stronger for it, because we've been through hell and survived. <br /><br />I would love a baby without any problems this time around. I really, really would. I know it could get worse and I really don't know if I could survive it being even WORSE than Naomi. <br /><br />I wish healing on you. As a VBAC mom and, apparently, a BBAC mom, my heart goes out to you.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06710952343278124124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-66755189713947262592011-06-07T09:47:14.335-04:002011-06-07T09:47:14.335-04:00I am considering a BBAC (love it) too, after exclu...I am considering a BBAC (love it) too, after exclusively pumping for 20 months for my first whose latch problem was never diagnosed. My plan is to save enough money to find an IBCLC or even two to be on-call after the birth, to have someone with me or at least on the phone at EACH NURSING SESSION to try to get it right. But as you said--try is the operative word--there are no guarantees.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-81986873046863657802011-06-07T08:47:23.448-04:002011-06-07T08:47:23.448-04:00I was thinking how much your ponderings sounded li...I was thinking how much your ponderings sounded like VBAC ponderings, and then you went there! I love the BBAC term. I see a fair number of BBAC moms in the hospital. I wish I could work with them longer-term, often it's just a few days/nights. But I notice a lot of commonalities: they are much more anxious and alert to signs that something could be wrong (especially anything that echoes their previous troubles), they are much quicker to supplement than other moms from their demographic, and they often have a lot of emotions and trauma to work through as memories or unprocessed feelings get brought up (along with the regular boatload of postpartum hormones). As hard as they want to believe that things will be different this time, and as much as we reassure them that things are going better (if things truly are), they just have so much difficulty trusting in the normal process because they trusted in it the first time and got really burned. I try to be very deferential with those moms about what kind of interventions/supplementation to do... my #1 goal for them is that they have a positive BF experience this time around, however the feeding itself turns out. If there's something that will help them stave off the emotional trauma of the previous experience I think it is worth it, even if it might compromise a 100% breastfeeding relationship. It would be great if there was a guide or support group out there somewhere for BBAC moms! They need it!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02589949170980959443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-48526082431443056122011-06-07T08:26:02.346-04:002011-06-07T08:26:02.346-04:00I hear you....
Your baby has a very nice head of ...I hear you.... <br />Your baby has a very nice head of hair!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5741036541041672560.post-28954621630268442372011-06-07T04:44:35.818-04:002011-06-07T04:44:35.818-04:00love the pic, she looks so peaceful and contented ...love the pic, she looks so peaceful and contented on the breast there. its a beautiful moment and i'm glad you got to enjoy it at last xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com